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  • Family fun

    “It’s about communicating with our kids,

    talking to them and listening to

    their answers.”



  • children.


    Now on Sale!

        Respect YOUR Children

         A Practical Guide To Effective Parenting


Featured Shows

blogtalkradio-logo Listen to Jay at BlogTalkRadio live. Access past radio episodes and follow for future episodes! Explore Jay's shows which discuss various issues within the family relationship and assist people to become a generation of change, and not repeat the negative patterns from their past.

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Who is the Family Answer Man?

Jay Fitter is a licensed family therapist with 20 years experience and answers your questions on all relationships issues.

Why He Does it…

My father had a 3rd grade education, and my mother 5th grade. My childhood was spent in poverty, moving in and out of apartments and motels. Much of our food came from church donations and we had used clothing.

My father was verbally and physically abusive and died when I was sixteen. I had already been working to help support the family, but after he passed , I had to work full time. My parents were told by school administrators when I was in elementary school that I was going to be a drop out. I attended in excess of twenty schools, often not even remembering what state I was in. There was virtually no adult guidance through my childhood and teen tears, as a result I made a lot of poor choices.

When I became an adult, I decided that I didn’t want to pass this kind of life on to my children.

I have seen the positive changes that have occurred in parents, kids, and even hard core gang members in juvenile hall. I know that we can’t change the past, but we don’t have to repeat it either.

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Ask Jay

Ask Jay

Ask Family Therapist, Jay Fitter through Facebook. Present your questions during a LIVE show and your answers may be aired.


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Misunderstanding Our Kids:

Q. I need some advice. My almost 5yr old daughter not only has an anger problem but she hits me, throws things throws fits and whines. She doesn't do it with anyone else only me and i don't let her get away with it. This all started when her dad left us a yr ago. She also has adhd and is very hyper. She wont focus on anything dor more than a minute. I dont know how to get her to stop doing these things. I'm at a loss as to what to do anymore. I feel like a failure as a mother. Please help

A. Some people would look at your child's behavior, and believe that these are typical temper tantrums. One of the indications would be that this behavior only occurs with you, and not other adults.
In my opinion, there is a greater likelihood that what your daughter is dealing with is abandonment issues. The fact that this behavior began when her father left is important. Also, she is young, and probably has limited ability to express feelings verbally. Then you have ADHD, which can make it difficult to focus, and organize thoughts. The result of all these ingredients is anger outbursts, and violent behavior. It is most likely only directed towards you, because she feels safe, and knows that you love her. I think for right now is important for you not to take this personally, but to recognize that your child is hurting from the loss of her father. My recommendation would be to seek out a child therapist to help your daughter grieve the loss of her father in a more productive way. This person should also be able to help you with strategies to work through this difficult situation with your daughter.

If you know someone that may benefit from the information on this page, feel free to forward this post to them. To get all of my future posts, just "like" Family Answer Man on Facebook. I will attempt to answer all of your questions on Parenting, Relationships, and Children submitted in a timely manner. Send a private message if you don't want your name to be seen.

1 day ago  ·  



“It’s about communicating with our kids, talking to them and listening to their answers”


Respect Your Children, Now Available on 


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Get in Touch

Contact Mr. Jay Fitter on Facebook, Twitter, or through email.  To schedule an appointment, please contact Jay’s office phone number – (951) 272-8304

Jay’s office is located in Southern California.

jay [at] familyanswerman.com

(951) 272-8304